How To Skip the Small Talk and Connect With Anyone | Kalina Silverman | TEDxWestminsterCollege
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Kalina Silverman wanted to see what could happen if she approached strangers and skipped the small talk to have more meaningful conversations with them instead.
She made a video documenting the experience. The stories she heard and the connections she made proved that there’s power in taking the time to stop and ask people to reflect on the questions that truly matter in life.
What is the Big Talk method and how does it differ from small talk?
In a world where conversation has taken on the form of small talk, it can be easy to feel disconnected from those around us. However, in a TEDx talk entitled “How To Skip the Small Talk and Connect With Anyone,” Kalina Silverman proposes a solution to this problem.
Silverman begins her talk by acknowledging the difficulty many people face in talking to strangers. She notes that even when we do engage in conversation, it often revolves around small talk – superficial exchanges that fail to establish deeper connections.
To combat this, Silverman developed a method she calls the Big Talk. The idea behind this technique is to steer conversation away from small talk and towards more meaningful topics. In her TEDx talk, she provides examples of questions that could facilitate this kind of conversation. Some of these include “What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever gone through?” and “If you could change one thing about how people treat each other, what would it be?”
Silverman stresses that the goal of Big Talk is not necessarily to achieve a rapid bond or friendship, but to create an environment in which authentic connections can occur. By moving beyond the realm of mundane conversation, we open up the door to vulnerability and the sharing of personal experiences.
Silverman also acknowledges that Big Talk may not be for everyone. Some people prefer to keep conversation light and playful – and that’s okay. What is important, however, is recognizing the value in deeper connections and being intentional about cultivating them.
Ultimately, Silverman’s message is one of hope and possibility. By pushing through the awkwardness and discomfort of small talk, we can create connections with others that are genuine and meaningful. Whether it’s a stranger on the street or a colleague at work, we all have the power to engage in Big Talk – and to transform our conversations into gateways for true human connection.
